Tags

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  • Dying from a fireworks explosion (57,588,244:1)
  • Contracting AIDS from heterosexual, protected sex with someone who isn’t a member of a “high-risk” group (50,000,000:1)
  • Contracting mad cow disease (40,000,000:1)
  • Winning the jackpot on the world’s tightest slot machine (33,554,000:1)
  • Becoming a saint (20,000,000:1)
  • Being attacked by a shark (10,000,000:1)
  • Spotting a UFO (3,000,000:1)
  • Being dealt five aces (2,869,684:1)
  • Earth hit by an asteroid (909,000:1)
  • Giving birth naturally to quintuplets (729,000:1, assuming you’re a pregnant woman)
  • Drowning in the bathtub (685,000:1)
  • Being struck by lightning (600,000:1)
  • Having your house bombed (290,000:1)
  • Dating a supermodel (88,000:1)
  • Striking it rich on Antiques Roadshow (60,000:1)
  • Getting a hole-in-one (42,952:1)
  • Being murdered (this year) (20,000:1)
  • Winning an Academy Award (lifetime) (11,500:1)
  • Finding a four-leaf clover on the first try (10,000:1)
  • Being possessed by Satan (7,000:1)
  • Carolina Panthers win the Super Bowl (200:1)
  • Getting on a plane with a drunk pilot (117:1)
  • Winning the Powerball lottery (195,249,054:1)

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